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Ashley Madison – Service Or Suicide

Two gentlemen show up in heaven at the same time. The first states he froze to death.

The second says he died of a heart attack. “How did that happen?” asks the first.

“Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife in bed with another man. When I searched the house,  I couldn’t find anyone. I was so stricken with remorse for wrongly accusing my wife of infidelity, I had a heart attack and died on the spot.”

“Oh,” the second man replied. “If you had opened the refrigerator, we would both be alive right now.”

Funny?   Maybe, unless you were one of the people whose name was hacked in the recent Ashley Madison situation.

What is fascinating, or maybe not, is that there were about 33,000 people using that service: finding sex partners for affairs. Most were probably married or in relationships.

So if all of this is going on what does it tell us? It tells me, and has for a long time, that a long term satisfying relationship with great sex is not so easy to come by.Ashley

Does having an ‘affair’ help or hinder that?

 

Both; but it depends on the reason and the quality of the relationships involved.

To be specific; to keep IT going, takes knowledge and communication and a deep level of intimacy. Love changes over time and sex can be practiced and learned about together until it is fabulous. Once a couple gets there the glue lasts a long time, maybe forever.

When the love, or what was thought to be love dwindles, it needs a lot of work. Some of this can be accomplished together or with professional help. When it was never there to begin with in a real sense, and the capacity is not there in one or both partners, the situation is doomed.

Then the question is what to do about it.

Seeking ‘relief’ or happiness, or fulfillment becomes a drive. There is no more powerful need than the need for sexual connection. Look around at history and what people have done to get it!

A recent study showed that men under stress, as determined by cortisol levels, had attractions for tasty rich palatable snacks, and they had a dampened ability for the brain to consider long range planning and their self- control was undermined.

We need satisfaction!! Candy will only do so much!!

The other question is whether to tell a partner. The rule I suggest is to discuss the need, and see if your partner can work with you to improve the situation.

If that fails then you may want to find a partner for long or short term fulfillment. Then the need to disclose the information depends on whether or not the original relationship is to continue.

Sometimes being happy elsewhere allows the relationship to survive. Other times it causes its’ demise in one form or another.

So did the hacking result in providing a needed service or was it indeed a suicide mission? Each participant will have to discover that for themselves.

In some cases it may have offered an opportunity to let out what was verboten to talk about before, out in the open to be honestly dealt with at last!

In other cases it may be the straw that breaks the marriage.

Whatever it does, it spotlights a problem that now has to be addressed.

Great sex in an intimate relationship is what most of us strive for… how we achieve that goal is the question… or answer!!

“My husband and I didn’t sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.” – Roseanne Barr

 

 

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