Our Chapters

Give Yourself Permission

“So, too, our whole life is an attempt to discover when our spontaneity is whimsical, sentimental irresponsibility and when it is a valid expression of our deepest desires and values.” – Helen Merrell Lynd

We live according to rules. They are set by our culture, our background, and those around us.

The people who don’t give a damn are usually the very rich or the very poor. They have nothing to lose. They can write their own ticket, so to speak.

It is those in the middle that conform and want to do the ‘right’ thing and save face.

Most people have areas of self-doubt or things they do not like about themselves and issues about how they ‘measure up’ against others.

Give Permission

It takes a lot of life to accept who you are, and be comfortable in the world.

Now it is true we all need to obey the law, usually do not want to harm others, and want to be viewed in a positive light. By conforming, we live out our lives. We follow the rules and lead constrained lives for the most part. Pleasing others is taught at young ages.

What I am hoping is that we can learn to be spontaneous, joyful, and sharing people.

When alcohol or drugs enter into the picture many open up and ‘let it go’ in a variety of ways. That may be fine but we can live full, connected, expressive lives with that in moderation, as well.

When you see how someone behaves, we immediately know how they were raised and what they are like. Their ‘instincts’ or immediate responses are there.

One of the difficult things today is that people have learned how to satisfy themselves but have not learned that pure happiness comes from being close to someone else in a truly deep emotional fashion.

To share yourself openly, and totally, is indeed frightening and many go through life without doing it.

The question is always; ’If I allow my partner to see or learn this or that about me will they still care for me, respect me, and love me?’

There are no angels walking the earth. We are all but specs of flawed material, here for a whisper of time… SO…

Try it a bit at a time. It doesn’t have to be all at once and it doesn’t have to be so guarded that the real you is protected. You will learn that as you unpeel, like an onion, the other person will feel they too can let out their secret selves.

It is when this has occurred in a consistent manner that you will ‘trust’; it will feel safe and you can then feel totally accepted, and loved.

Then spontaneity can occur, and how good that feels.

To just ‘be’ and say what you feel and think in the moment and act freely is what it’s about.

Yes, you can be foolish at times, and yes, you can be goofy, and yes, a lot of it doesn’t make sense, but so what?

In the end you are authentic and more importantly, accepted!

41249224_sThen and only then is life beautiful and FREE!!

We are not all creative in the utmost sense but we are all unique in special ways. Finding that and sharing it is joyous. When that happens, the world is a rainbow and everyone sees it and benefits from what you dispense. You are not unhappy, spreading misery and boredom. You are not living a mundane existence. You have gone beyond that.

You can dream and really have fun… every minute… almost.

Life will hand out it’s sorrows and crap will happen, make no mistake. Life’s duties will need attention, make no mistake about that either. Conflict is inevitable. HOWEVER, the joyful part will get you through and allow you to really share it all with another.

If you have tried and perhaps been disappointed, or ‘burned’ by the person you thought was ‘it’, it will take time and experience to risk it again. But do it!

This is a once around game… no second lives to try again… it’s now or never!

Being responsible and stable is important but starving real love with passion, will never satisfy. Without it, you have NOTHING!!

Nothing that matters. To love is the height of this life… go after it.

Do not lead a puny scared life; sing and dance, hug and kiss, make fabulous love, and, let the ‘magic’ in!!!

“To be free is to have achieved your life.” – Tennessee Williams

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