“If you want to read about love and marriage you’ve got to buy two separate books.” – Alan King
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman
“I know nothing about sex because I was always married.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
Yeh, yeh, yeh… ain’t love grand?
The lusty days of early love and marriage to the one you adore will wax and wane. There is no getting around it.
When someone is available, and you see them in all their glory night and day feelings change and can erode. Most often this occurs after about five or so years. That is when we become vulnerable to an outside influence and may become attracted to others. Of course if you are not really emotionally close you can just be going about your business and not even be aware of the changes.
Now the people who really love and who can still get excited and get it on together know how to deal with this problem. They are the relationships that remain juicy for years.
They talk about it, make sure the secretary is old and ugly, plan fun projects together and keep themselves marketable. They do not walk around the house in ratty nightgowns and they always smell good. They complement one another and are as nice to each other as they are to friends.
By the way, research shows that women are more attracted to pleasant smells than men so they should not be the only ones wearing perfume!
It is easy to slip into complacency and have a perfunctory sex life. It is difficult to keep improving oneself and like Scheherazade keep him interested.
Men for the most part are turned on by sight…looking at the body parts they like. It is not difficult for them. Women on the other hand need to hear sweet nothings and feel they are loved. Men who learn how to love also like to know they are appreciated.
The biggest help is letting your partner know and SEE that they turn you on and that helps them.
Humor helps as well as a playful attitude.
Now specifically what can you do?
Well, you can be interesting, fun, and do things to share with one another.
You can take courses, be involved in activities and talk about new and exciting ideas.
If none of this works maybe you need a new partner!
If you are bored you may be boring!
Try cute ways to let your beloved know you still love them. Notes in pockets or on pillows, a fun gift in the cereal box, write “I love you” on the mirror in lipstick, pin a place to meet on their underwear, or send flowers… guys like that too.
Food can be great, cooking a favorite meal together, licking stuff off one another….
Bubble baths with music and candles work too.
Music and dancing…
Wine or champagne makes the world prettier and inhibitions loosen.
Read poetry or write a poem.
As long as you are good in bed “It” stays alive. After that, you have a really good friend!!!
“When love comes to an end, weaklings cry, efficient ones instantly find another love, and the wise already have one in reserve.” – Oscar Wilde