“Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits.” – Paul Eldridge
We have all known a period when someone ‘bothers’ us in a way that makes us feel competitive.
Now it can be about anything.
How we look, what we have achieved, what we possess, our family, or whatever. Sometimes it is about very superficial things, and I am brought to mind of a woman who said other women were ‘jealous’ of her because of her jewelry. Did she know how shallow or superficial she sounded? Probably not, as that was her value. That business about, ‘you can’t be too rich or thin’ will take you just so far.
Being jealous of someone’s looks may be futile as you are who you are; make peace with it!
Being jealous of someone’s talents or accomplishments may push you to do more; not a bad incentive. You do have to realistically know what you can accomplish, however, and this can sometimes be a problem.
The trick is to accept who you are and keep trying to be the best that you can be in whatever area. Now, when it comes to love it may be a different story as we all look for that ‘special’ someone. When you are with someone and dating, it can be a bit of a problem if someone else crosses your path. Ready or not, it just happens.
What to do then?
Today females can take the initiative and talk or let the guy know they are interested. Guys can make sure they connect or have a way to reach females that interest them.
It is a smorgasbord out there and sampling is necessary for the long run. We do compete for attention, and for love. Some males especially, love the chase and conquest… the long haul, not so much.
Some people let pride get in the way of going on with a relationship that may have some bumps in the road; which all relationships have. All we can control is ourselves.
We can control our thoughts and our actions. It is up to us. And ambivalence is part of life. Nothing is totally pure; positive or negative. The adventure that is called, ’life’ is a bundle of feelings that go up and down. Who we are and our self-esteem is determined by how others relate to us from day one.
This message gets reinforced on a continuing basis. Sorrowfully many get a negative message that is very difficult to shake. But it is not impossible.
If one area is weak buttress up in another domain! It doesn’t have to be that song of Bonnie Raitt’s” Nothing Seems To Matter.” There was a line a recent college graduate gave me when the situation presented itself of a guy wanting to take out a girl he saw with another guy. It was, ‘Just because there is a goalie, it doesn’t mean you can’t score.’ I really like that attitude.
Some people give up easily and some fight to the death… emotionally or at times realistically.
To keep pushing on is the message of getting through this life. There will always be challenges and we must decide if we wish to take them on, or not. Sometimes jealousy will rear its’ ugly head when we are unaware and then we are caught by surprise and have to evaluate all sorts of things; ready or not. That can be a good thing… or maybe not.
Whatever we decide to do will show us who we are, what we value, and how we compete.
Most males compete in careers while most females compete in the arena of looks. Again we are basically different. No matter how unisex this generation thinks they are some ingrained differences cannot be erased. I say, ’Hooray.’ While getting over rejection is never a fast or easy process it is a learning experience and should be seen as such.
Taking life day by day may have to be de rigueur for the immediate present but in time it should get easier and put into perspective and provide an opportunity for emotional growth.
Not a bad outcome.
There is no one who has it all. There are always prettier, richer, smarter people. Your job is to be the person you can admire and then no one can upset that inner peace and contentment…no one!!
“He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.” – Benjamin Franklin