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“In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind” – Nora Ephron

Many men subscribe to both National Geographic and Playboy, both of which show places they’ll never get to visit!


So being sexy or sensuous what is the difference?

In my experience, it is two very different aspects of a woman’s personality and capability.

Looking around you see many woman of all ages, some very pretty, dressing provocatively with tight, short or low cut clothes. They wear a lot of make-up and move in seductive fashion when men are around. Many have had plastic surgery on their breasts, bodies, or faces. All of this they believe makes them, “sexy.”

While they may appeal to some males and be sending out their blatant message of,”I want sex,” they may be sacrificing the real thing and may just not know how to get it… love.

It is important to look good and feel comfortable in your body and nothing wrong in trying to enhance what you have, but not to the exclusion of what really makes a man want a woman.

In Philadelphia the Barnes Foundation just moved to center city and in that collection there is a painting titled, “Woman With White Stockings” by Gustave Courbet. It is one of the most, if 42429083_snot the most, sensuous painting in the world. She is lying on her back, in grass, with a leg raised while she puts on a stocking. It is revealing, yes, but it conveys a message of femininity rarely seen on canvas. Go and view it!

Being sensuous may or may not be in the manner in which one appears…It is in the very essence of being a female and having that message conveyed.


Well, it can be in a variety of forms. The subtle way one shows the body but leaves a bit to the imagination. The voice, the intellect, the charm, the lingerie. There is an old saying, “If love is blind how come so much money is spent on lingerie?”

Because it all spells female.

The sensuous woman knows she is all woman and craves men, or a man, and she lets him be all man. She has often been short changed by feminists who made her want to be like men. Can’t happen. Not with a real woman! She doesn’t want that. Equal rights and pay, yes, but defer to letting a man be what he is in her company. The sexes are different and have always been so. That will never change!!

A man is a woman’s whole life while she is usually only a part of his. Just see who’s the one waiting for the phone to ring. When in love it becomes, there are things I can live with, but I cannot live without YOU!

Now to the nitty-gritty, when it comes to actual sex, which is the end game.  A book, “Sex Made Easy,” by Debby Herbenick of the Kinsey Institute explains every aspect of the sexual act and what to do with certain issues. It is excellent.

One of her first areas deals with knowing and liking your body and understanding how it functions when it comes to sex. This is for men and women.

Here in America we still do not teach people how to be sexually fulfilled and how to truly enjoy this part of life. It is the driving force and still we know and teach so little about it. How many people are comfortable with their and their partner’s bodies? How many are able to abandon themselves sexually or even have fun with it?

When girls are given the images of models and skinny actresses as their role models it leads to misplaced values.

When you see unattractive people really in love and wonder why, you need to know about being sensual.

A joie de vivre, ready smile, listening ear, entertaining, and interesting dialogue will hold a man’s interest a lot longer than a boob job!



  1. Hi Lynn,

    I can totally relate to all of your posts. Thank you so much for the fabulous advice! Keep writing.

    – Cassandra

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