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Some Of The Best Are Gay

Some Of The Best Are Gay

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” – Rodney Dangerfield

While waiting for a table at a trendy brunch restaurant I sat next to a very handsome guy. Being friendly, he began talking to me and I also being friendly went on talking with him. He was bright and interesting and with his male partner. There was no doubt he was gay.

Looking at people all the time, I am quite aware that there are few good-looking men around, of any age. I am married to a handsome man so the looking is just that… looking.

At any rate, we had a delightful conversation and then our respective tables were ready.

The years I have spent as a relationship counselor and sex educator have included a great deal of time and attention paid to both transsexuals,(whom I wrote a book about), and gay people.

Some Of The Best Are Gay

First of all, I am not sure of the origin of some of the terms used for a whole group of people. Today it’s ‘gender queer’ meaning not necessarily man or woman; trigender, pangender, bigender, and ruby rose.

I really love the term, ’gay.’ It just sounds positive and fun!

The term goes back to at least the 1920’s and was a slang word among homosexuals. It entered the mainstream about the late 1960’s.

The term ‘gaycats’ was used among older hobos who travelled with younger men who exchanged sexual favors for protection and instruction. Another plausible explanation is that it meant people who were addicted to pleasure, self-indulgent, or immoral.

Whatever the root I like the word, and who can deny that having a rainbow for a symbol is wonderful!

Anyway. There are flamboyant homosexuals and there are those like the ‘lipstick lesbians’ that would be totally unnoticed as ‘gay.’ That’s how Rosie O’Donnell was surprised when she saw her beautiful second marriage partner for the first time.

Even though the Stonewall riots in 1969 brought gays out fighting there is still anti-gay behavior in America.

Our America with rights and voices for all has many places and people, important people, saying or doing anti-gayantics. Listen to some politicians about sex in a variety of forms: abortion, the church on pre-marital sex, and politicians with gay marriage. Then take a look at how we are bombarded with sexuality in all forms morning, noon, and night.

We are either schizophrenic or just plain hypocritical!

So many of the gay people I know or have counseled have fabulous creative jobs, are law abiding and in long- term loving relationships. The issues are NO different from my heterosexual clients.

They are human with the same needs, desires, fights, and solutions to problems. Many raise children who are NO different than other families. Maybe even a bit more sensitive, worldly, and accepting of differences. How nice that would be for a worldview.

 I am so sick of the small- minded, living ‘safe’ people that I could throw up. What a narrow, simple, BORING life they lead.

They need scapegoats for what they don’t allow themselves to understand and appreciate. This just doesn’t apply to gays; it applies to all minorities and those that are not like them. Heaven help us if they rule the world!

At any rate, the thing is to get to know individuals as individuals, not as a lumped in-group where, ‘all’ of those people fall into a category. Accept people as unique and see what they are truly made of and what they offer you and others.

We should not care what anyone does with their body. Taking care of our own is a full time job and most screw, (no pun intended), that up quite nicely themselves.

20108396_sSex is wonderful in ALL its’ forms. Relax and enjoy it… all of you!!

We are all a composite of good and bad, lovely, and not so lovely. Only by being truly human can we accept others and ourselves.

You cannot change what your heart gives you. The struggle with being gay starts in childhood and it is fought alone at first and then often brutally with others. The shame and embarrassment is difficult for many. Coming out to parents, siblings, friends is murder. Living the life takes courage and pain.

Being in a group helps, but does not solve all problems.

Learning to trust and love is not easy for any of us and especially hard when you are ‘different.’

So, whoever you are out there I loved meeting and talking and looking at you. As I once said to the famous gorgeous Catholic Father Hesburgh, for heterosexual me, “What a waste!”

“Understanding is a lot like sex; it’s got a practical purpose, but that’s not why people do it normally.” –   Frank Oppenheimer


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