“I have loved women to a frenzy.” – Casanova.
There it is, from the man himself.
Casanova was born in Venice and lived from 1725 to 1798.
His early life included being abandoned by his mother who was an actress, and being sent to live with a grandmother until at an early age he was sent to become a priest! He was thrown out after a short period when found having sexual relations with another boy.
He worked as a magician, spy, and translator. In 1755 he was accused of witchcraft and escaped a prison sentence by fleeing to Paris.
His life included being a prolific lover and seducer of women.
When he wrote his twelve volume biography he listed 132 women he had made love to!
What is even more important is the fact that he liked variety, always had a mutual break-up, and remained friends with the women after the love affairs.
He never married but did have children.
He liked women and he enjoyed talking with them, and never wanted to hurt them.
Without women he became melancholy.
Many of his loves were well known and he kept their names secret.
At sixty-five he was worn out and then wrote his books.
What do we learn from this?
First of all, men learn to like or not like women from their earliest experiences… you guessed it, from their mothers.
If they had sisters that can also give perspective on their relations with the female sex.
Men who truly like women can learn to love them.
How to be a lover is not taught in any school.
It’s a matter of, like all things, knowledge.
How you view yourself, your body, and being interested in women will all come through.
Do you talk to her? What about? Can you compliment her about what you appreciate and like about her?
Are you genuinely interested in her life and what she talks about? All part of the beginning.
Seduction and combining body parts comes as the next step.
What do you know about her body? What do you like about it? What turns you on? What turns her on?
These can be talked about. They should be.
There are all sorts of enhancers out there today too.
Every guy has had a time or times when ‘It’ doesn’t work.
It’s okay. A female should NEVER make that an issue. Work around it.
There are pills, creams, vibrators and many devices to aid in the process.
Learning about how to be orgasmic, and bringing a partner to orgasm should be taught before anyone can graduate, certainly from college!
Learning about body parts is a discovery that pays off.
Some of this comes more naturally to some. Others have to really study and learn; like anything
elsewhere competence is the goal.
The problem is we are shy, scared, embarrassed, guilty or whatever when it comes to sex.
It is the most intimate of sharing, although many today just have sex; not intimacy. That’s fine for some but once you know the difference you won’t want to live without it. That means connection, not just with body parts, but with heart and mind.
When was the last time you had sex? With whom? What were your feelings for that person?
What did you talk about?
What do you really like about that person? Have you told them? Have you shown them?
Casanova was real; he loved in his fashion. Probably short term for the most part, however there was one long term relationship that carried him into his older age. That one had a different quality to it.
You can be any kind of lover you choose… short term, just sex, or involved totally. When it is real and truly fused love and passion you will know it. It is not easy to find or accomplish, I grant you, BUT worth every heartache engendered! And trust me there is always heartache along the way of real love. That’s sort of how you know it’s love; you care. You can be hurt, and you still want that person, body and soul!
“Man survives earthquakes, epidemics, the horrors of disease and all the agonies of the soul, but for all time his most tormenting tragedy has been, is, and will be- the tragedy of the bedroom.” – Leo Tolstoy