Who Ends It?… Matters
“If you marry, you will regret it; if you do not marry, you will also regret it.” – Soren Kierkegaard
When a relationship is over it’s over. Hopefully, the two people involved mutually decide, but if one of them has had it, it can be very painful for the person still in love.
Who makes the decision determines the outcome and the feelings.
If you are the one who ends it the feelings will be a relief and you will move on, but if you are the one ‘done to’ the feelings involved will be a mixture of love and hate in some form.
How nice it would be if we had contractual marriages where the two parties review the relationship and determine whether or not to continue. This could be every year or every ten years. The reasons for marriage have changed and the ways in which we relate to one another have changed and so too must marriage.
My own professional and personal experience have shown me that two people should only be together if they desire one another. Relationships vary and change over time and as people mature the ways in which they want one another are different.
In America, we all read Cinderella and we want a wedding in a white dress with our Prince Charming and vow to be together ‘til death do us part. Ridiculous! Fairy tales for children. Let’s teach people what it’s really all about.
One of the big problems as I see it is how long to tolerate the things we don’t like and have we tried to work things out? If resentment doesn’t get resolved; only the cowardly stay. I am always amused by the older couples who proudly announce how long they have been together. Years mean nothing! Many live like roommates with no emotional attachment and certainly no sex. What a waste. Dead people walking.
Without love and PASSION, you might as well be dead!
Now my formula is not for everyone. Many cannot tolerate the vulnerability that true connection demands and that’s OK for those people. Then there are the “parasites,” as I call them. The old ladies, who never worked, are just there in name only to enjoy the fruits of their husband’s labor. He’s the nice guy who is doing what he was taught to do and maybe never even thinks about his emotional needs, let alone his physical ones. Just look at the workaholics and alcoholics Poor substitutes!
Today women demand more and they too engage in romantic affairs. We’re talking about love, not infatuation.
Younger women have changed and want to be fulfilled emotionally and sexually so hooray for that. The problem as I see it here is that they often don’t connect for a period of time and the business of longing and seduction is often missing. It’s too instant.
Love and great sex take time and knowledge and practice… all fun.
So, when one decides to end it; get a new puppy to replace the dead one or think of all the negatives about that person and relationship and then know there is someone out there waiting to meet YOU and move on!!
So how will all this change the world? Maybe we end up with happier more contented people, which can’t be bad.
“For a male and female to live continuously together is… biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural condition.” – Robert Briffault